Was it good for you, too?

Let me just preface this by saying, I fully understand and appreciate the reasons behind airport security requirements and am grateful to the men and women who work to keep us safe in the air.

That said, I just got molested by airport security.

Since you basically have to strip before going through the metal detector it took four of those little plastic bin thingies for all my various potentially hazardous items (laptop, 2 cell phones, snow boots, toiletries, coat, scarf and a long pretty necklace with which to choke the little kid who kicks the back of my seat). And lucky girl that I am, I was randomly selected to experience the latest and greatest in screening technology up close and personal.

You see, the new Indianapolis airport is only three months old and they have all these great new toys with which to torture protect the fine citizens as they attempt to escape the frozen tundra that is currently our fine city make their way to their gate.

Not only did I get the metal detector and the fancy little 'puff' sniffer machine (you know, the one that blows you're carefully arrange hair all to hell?) but I also got this:

Screener: Please spread your legs.

Me: That's easy enough.

Screener: Hands above your head.

Me: Um, okay.

Screener: Now, from the rear.

Me: Excuse me?

Screener: I meant 'turn and face the rear of the machine'.

Sure, you did.