Monday, May 18, 2009

One of these days I'll learn my lesson

Apparently I am a glutton for punishment, having not learned my lesson the last time I took the furbabies to the groomers. That, or I'm simply dumber than a box of rocks. Take your pick.

The dogs were in desperate need of grooming and seeing as how my time as a Lady of Leisure is drawing to a close, I sucked it up and made an appointment for this afternoon. If you will recall from our last grooming adventure, car rides with my wee ones are about as fun as having your teeth drilled sans Novocaine.

The puppies can always tell when I'm getting ready to leave the house. Mostly because I put on real clothes (as opposed to my daily uniform of track suits) and am wearing more than basic lipstick. If they are so lucky as to be allowed out of the house with you when you look 'ready' to go somewhere, they will run immediately to the driver side door of the car and wait to be let in.

Oliver in passenger seat. Check.
Lola in lap. Check.
Wallet in pocket. Check.
Leashes in car. Check.
Keys in ignition. Check.

Just as I move to close the driver side door, Lola chooses that exact moment to leap to her death out of the car. Hello? You just spent the last fifteen minutes driving me bat crazy trying to get into the car. And just my luck, I totally caught her tiny body in the car door. She let out the most terrifyingly shrill shriek. OMG I just closed my baby in the car door! I am officially the worst puppy mommy ever.

Immediately I scooped her up, trying to assess her for damage. She's crying at a pitch I'm sure only other dogs and puppy mommies can hear. I can't tell if it's from fear, indignation or a crushed rub.

Do I rush immediately to our vet? Is that overreacting?
Do I cancel the appointment and just watch her at home and hope she doesn't die?
Do I take her anyway and politely inform them that, as World's Worst Puppy Mommy, I closed her in the car door and would they kindly mind watching her closely for internal bleeding while they clipped her nails?

In the end I decided to head toward PetSmart. If she stopped crying by the time we got there, I'd poke and prod her until I was convinced she was okay. If not, PetSmart has a vet right there and I'll beg them hysterically to please save my baby.

Fifteen minutes later, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth panting (a sure sign of a punctured lung!), we arrived at PetSmart. I set her gently on the ground so as not to jostle any displaced organs...and she took off running after another dog in the parking lot.

Um, yeah....clearly she's just fine.

I swear, this time is it. From now on, I'm shaving these dumb dogs at home.


Ally said...

If you shave them at home you have to promise us one thing: that you video it!! I'm sure it'd be a Youtube hit. hahaha

Nessa said...

Lol! Love it.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Wow! I would have been worried and then pissed off....

Allison said...

girl, I tried to shave Addie once, and let me tell you, NOT EASY.

Cole said...

I'll give my fur-babies a "trim" at home... but any major grooming is done by the pros. :-)

Valentine said...

furbabies- that is too funny! thanks for the hilarious story, but it makes me think that maybe i don't want a dog....LOL

Susanne said...

Oh no you poor thing! Glad she is ok :) found you on sits

a.g. said...

Word to the wise, it took TWO of us three hours, lots of yelling, and even a little yelping to shave down my furbaby for the summer...think about that. and you aren't the World's Worst Puppy Mommy, you at least tie with ann for first place, bc she snagged Java in the door just last week.

Anonymous said...

I thought you were getting the groomer to come to you???!

Kim said...

Stopping by from sits! What a great post. We have a blacklab so I can't really relate although Kinsey loves to ride in the car. I am glad your furbaby was off and running after the mishap!

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