Friday, May 15, 2009

Are you afraid of the dark?

Lately I have been staying up later and later at night, reading or watching trash TV movies, often not going to be until midnight or later. Of course this will have to stop when I start my part time gig next Wednesday because this gal likes her beauty sleep. It took me five weeks to work up to my night owlish ways and now I only have 5 days to get myself out of it.

Unfortunately for me, Night #1 didn't go so well. As I laid in bed, wishing desperately for sleep, I started thinking about all the weird rules I had for sleeping when I was a kid:

1. When getting into bed, you must turn off the overhead light, then take a running leap onto the bed. You must not get any closer than three feet before making said leap, lest someone grab your ankles from underneath the bed.

2. The bedside lamp must be kept on at all times. (This was the rule until I was 9 and the lamp fell onto a pillow and burned a hole through it. After that, I was only allowed to have a plug-in night light.)

3. The bed must be pushed against a wall and you must sleep facing out toward the side that is not against the wall. This way no one can sneak up on you in your sleep.

4. Any stuffed animals or dolls sleeping in bed with you must have their head on a pillow and be tucked under the covers. Dolls get cold, too.

5. Under no circumstances do you ever sleep on your back. This leaves your stomach vulnerable to random attacks of malicious jumping. (Can you tell I had younger siblings?)

6. All body parts (except your head) must be covered by the blanket or, at the very least, the sheet. Any body part not covered by the blanket or sheet is subject to dismemberment should someone manage to sneak up on you (see rule #3).

Yeah, I know. I was a sad, strange little kid.

Sadly, as I thought about all my childhood sleeping rules, I realized that I have almost as many as an adult. They're aren't quite as strange, but they're rules none the less.

1. I must have a fan or white noise machine going to block out noise.

2. I must have a pillow between my knees, one in my arms, one under my head and a fourth to put over my head in case the fan is not doing a good enough job. Nate thinks sleeping with a pillow over my head is the weirdest thing he's ever seen. My mom does it too and I've done it for as long as I can remember.

3. I must put chap stick on my lips before I go to sleep, otherwise I'll lie there thinking about how badly I need chap stick. It should be noted that I don't wear chap stick at any other time during the day. Weird, I know.

4. I wear a sleep mask to block out light. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Seriously, it really does help you sleep better.

5. I no longer have to keep every body part covered but I still never, ever sleep on my back. Old fears die hard, I suppose.

Did you have weird bedtime rules when you were a kid? Are there things you absolutely must do to get a good night's sleep?


Robbie S.Redmon, LPC said...

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Anonymous said...

Yo, throw me under the bus! Okay, yes you are right, I sleep with 4 pillows, placed just like you do! As for all the other stuff, I have no idea where that came from. I thought you were a relatively "normal" child!!!

Cookie Crums said...

Nothing remotely like that....but I sure got a kick out of reading all that! WOW!! I have to say the pilow over the head was the kicker! Too funny....this is with the sleep mask right?

My only thing that drives my husband crazy is I'll cover my face with the covers.

Mel said...

I can so relate. I have to sleep with a noise machine that sounds like rain, I sleep with a pillow under my head, in my arms, and between my knees (not over my head though), I always put chapstick and lotion on before I go to bed or else I think about how dry everything is, and that's it. That's where our similarities end.

p said...

Socks, chapstick, tiny sip of cough syrup (or I'll obsess about a tickle in my throat), ear plugs (husb snores!), but only 2 pillows! lol

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I do have weird habits as well. I always have to sleep on the side of the bed that's the closest to the bathroom

Allison said...

I'm crazy about my sleeping too...

absolutely can't sleep in complete silence OR with any sort of repetitive noise, so I always have a fan going.

And I, too, have to hold onto a pillow to sleep.

I totally envy people (like my husband) who can fall asleep standing up or with the tv blaring.

Cole said...

I need 4 or 5 pillows around me and I NEVER, EVER sleep on my back.

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