Not Me Monday

I have not, in the last 18 days, polished off two entire cases of Cheerwine. I most certainly have not justified this two-a-day gluttony by reasoning that since one is diet (and therefore calorie free), it basically doesn't count. That would be self-delusional. And I am definitely not self-delusional. Nope, not me!

I did not substitute brown sugar for white sugar when making short-cut lasagna, because I somehow forgot to buy white sugar at the grocery store. I mean who forgets a basic staple like sugar? Not me!

I did not openly gloat when Oliver had an accident in the house, because that wouldn't make my dog (Lola) the 'good' dog. I mean, who is secretly not too unhappy about an accident in the house? Not me!

I did not scream like a school girl and otherwise make a general idiot out of myself when I discovered a huge slimy something-or-other under the wash-out drain in front of the house. That would be silly and embarrassing to do in front of the neighbors. Who was that raving lunatic on my driveway? Not me!