Where everyone knows your name....

I love being back home in Sumter. You can't leave the house without running into someone you know at Doolallies, Baker's Sweets or Wal-mart. It's so fun to catch up with people you haven't seen in months or sometimes years.

Note to self: When in Sumter, never leave the house without make-up.

Was it good for you, too?

Let me just preface this by saying, I fully understand and appreciate the reasons behind airport security requirements and am grateful to the men and women who work to keep us safe in the air.

That said, I just got molested by airport security.

Since you basically have to strip before going through the metal detector it took four of those little plastic bin thingies for all my various potentially hazardous items (laptop, 2 cell phones, snow boots, toiletries, coat, scarf and a long pretty necklace with which to choke the little kid who kicks the back of my seat). And lucky girl that I am, I was randomly selected to experience the latest and greatest in screening technology up close and personal.

You see, the new Indianapolis airport is only three months old and they have all these great new toys with which to torture protect the fine citizens as they attempt to escape the frozen tundra that is currently our fine city make their way to their gate.

Not only did I get the metal detector and the fancy little 'puff' sniffer machine (you know, the one that blows you're carefully arrange hair all to hell?) but I also got this:

Screener: Please spread your legs.

Me: That's easy enough.

Screener: Hands above your head.

Me: Um, okay.

Screener: Now, from the rear.

Me: Excuse me?

Screener: I meant 'turn and face the rear of the machine'.

Sure, you did.

Good families don't....

Let a little thing like 50 below zero get in the way of seeing each other.

My sister Katie seems to be having a hard time remembering that A Promise is a Promise no matter how much snow is on the ground. I guess I will have to Wait and See and see if she will come visit me From Far Away.

I am not above bribing her with Something Good or threatening to Get Me Another One(sister, that is!) if she doesn't come see me soon.

I will Love Her Forever, whether she comes to visit or not. But I just need to know one thing:

Katie, aren't I worth $29.95?

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*If you have never read the children's books by Canadian author Robert Munsch, you and your children are missing out! My personal favorites are Love You Forever, Something Good and Good Families Don't.

Feta makes anything betta'

I have been tagged half a dozen times in Facebook with this '25 Things about Me' thing, so since you are all clearly dying to know more about yours truly, here you go.

1. I put feta cheese on just about anything - hamburgers, spaghetti, Lean Cuisines. It is my firm belief that feta makes anything better.

2. I quit piano lessons after two years. I begged and whined until my parents let me use that money towards extra dance lessons. Yeah, I haven't danced in 15 years and I regret my choice every time I hear someone play the piano. My (future) children will all play instruments and they will thank me when they are older.

3. I hate manicures. I am too Type A to walk around with chips in my nails but I am too lazy to keep them looking nice.

4. I think green Skittles are the best flavor.

5. I always order the exact same drink at Starbucks. The few times I have ventured into other drinks, I have been bitterly disappointed. My motto is 'go with what you know'.

6. I am a Southern gal, who absolutely hates iced tea and grits.

7. I met my husband on the first day of college. I am fairly certain that he doesn't even remember meeting me that day.

8. I overuse the words 'seriously' and 'whatever'.

9. I am dreading the big 3-0. I am still two months away from turning 28.

10. I talk to my dogs like they are human. (I am home all day, every day by myself. You would do it too.)

11. If I could do anything in the world, I would design wrapping paper, tissue paper, ribbons and other gift-wrap items.

12. I hope to become a mother this year.

13. I love cupcake frosting. The best kind is white icing you get at a mass retailer bakery like Wal-mart or Kroger. Food City in Knoxville, TN has the best frosting I have ever tasted. I will gladly trade you the cake part of my cupcake for the frosting part of yours.

14. My middle name is Ryan, my grandmother's maiden name.

15. I had a hideous bowl cut from 1st to 3rd grade. My mother has a thing for bowl cuts. (She did it to three of us! Only Emily survived the mortification of the bowl cut, because Katie and I were old enough to 'save' her from mom! You're welcome, Emily.)

16. I can only read one book at a time. Props to people who have multiple books going on at once.

17. I am more aware of my facial expressions since I noticed lines in my forehead recently. (See also #9).

18. I think Taylor Swift makes an awesome CD but you couldn't pay me to go to her concert. I have never heard a live performance from her that wasn't slightly off key.

19. When I was a kid I wanted to be a lawyer or a fashion buyer.

20. It drives me crazy when people mispronounce 'preferably'.

21. I don't really have a favorite color. It changes all the time.

22. I sometimes wish I was a redhead.

23. I fell asleep on our first date. (And he still asked me out again!)

24. I have vague dreams of becoming a runner but zero self-discipline to make it happen. It sounds like a good idea, in theory...

25. I wish I lived closer to my family.

Now it's your turn to tell us everything we never wanted to know a little bit more about you!

Bartender, make mine a double! (...Or Why Nate is Lucky to Still be Alive)

Depending on who you ask, we got ten to twelve inches of snow last night. I wanted to measure it myself in one of those cool yard-stick-in-the-snow pictures but of course, I don't actually own a yard stick, so no cool yard-stick-in-the-snow pictures on this blog.

(Note to self: Buy yardstick.)

Anyway, so this morning at 5:30AM (yes, AM. Did you know that 5:30 comes twice a day?) Nate's cell phone rings. It's his boss calling early to say don't come in, take a snow day, I'm serious, don't try it, stay home. To which a normal person would say, HECK YEAH, burrow back under the covers and snooze half the day away, right?

Not Nate. He was up by 6:00AM, parked in front of the TV where he watched the Weather channel for nearly two hours straight. I mean, who does that? He was literally pacing the house, waiting anxiously for the moment the snow plow would come liberate him from his snow-encrusted prison.

Sadly for Nate, said snow plow never came, just as I told him it wouldn't. The snow plow doesn't plow our cul-de-sac for whatever reason. He didn't believe this until he took an hour long walk around the neighborhood (in a foot of snow) and discovered that every single cul-de-sac is still full of snow. Being the good wife that I am, I definitely didn't crow, 'I told you so' at the top of my lungs upon his return.

Most days I am grateful for my husband's incredible work ethic, but today with all his pacing and window gazing and weather channel watching, I really just wanted to kill him kick him in the shins. Someone is paying you to stay at home today, try to enjoy it!

The puppies have enjoyed the snow immensely. We took them out this afternoon without their leashes and let them run to their hearts content. The snow is too deep for them to get very far so we knew it was a safe bet. They had a ball running through the tire tracks made by the neighbor's SUV. Lola was hysterical when she walked out too far and got of the packed snow - she started to sink and clawed like her little life depended on it. Which of course only served to dig her deeper into the snow!

The snow is almost over the fire hydrant!


Lola enjoys a tire track furrow this morning. They were running so fast this afternoon I couldn't get any good pictures!




Our poor little bushes might never be the same.


Lola tries to figure out how to get up into the yard from the shoveled driveway.


No new pictures of Oliver today. He was busy doing his little snow angels, as always. Good thing I put their little snow jackets on them to preserve what little was left of his trip to the beauty parlor yesterday!

Don't you just want to eat them with a spoon?

Look at Knox's little newsboy cap! So adorable!


Viv looks just like big sister, Shiloh. Such a little angel face!


I hope my kids are this cute some day.

Ain't that always the way?

Remember a few posts ago when I said this? Forget it. It was temporary insanity brought on by a short stretch of warm-ish weather. I am most definitely not used to this yet.

Tonight Indy is expecting between 3 and 6 inches of snow. Apparently that would be more snow in one night than we have had in the entire month of January. But this morning dawned clear and a little sunny so I went ahead with the puppies appointment at the beauty parlor this afternoon.

Cut to three hours later and it's time to go fetch them, but it has been pouring snow for at least an hour and it's looking pretty bad out there. So I call my darling husband in the hopes that I can trick cajole him into coming home early and picking them up on the way.

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Me: Hey, babe, have you checked the weather lately? It looks pretty bad. Think you might be coming home early?

Him: Nah, if I leave now, traffic will be bad. I'll just wait until the regular time.

Me: Are you sure? The weather is pretty bad.

Him: Yeah, I'm sure. Why?

Me: We-ell-ll, the puppies are ready to be picked up and I was thinking you could get them if you were coming home soon.

Him: Nah, you better go. I'm going to be awhile....If you're leaving you probably need to shovel the driveway before you go.

Me: I'm sorry, say that again? We must have a bad connection...I thought you said I should shovel the driveway.

Him: That is what I said.

Me: Really bad connection here. Gotta go! Bye.

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Shoveling snow while it is still snowing is a bit like pissing in the wind. You end up cold and wet and only marginally better off than you were before you started. I shoveled like a champ for about 5 minutes before my arms were ready to mutiny and start beating me to death with the shovel. After a full 20 minutes of shoveling the longest driveway known to man, I turned around to realize I could no longer see the driveway where I started. Damn snow.

Duty done, I hopped in the car, turned the heater up full blast and set out toward PetSmart. I thought I was getting better at this driving-in-snow thing but apparently not. I was tenser than a stage mom at the Little Miss Universe pageant. I am that driver all the Northerners are swearing at and flipping off as they fly by me in the slow lane.

Riding with the puppies in the car is never a good time for the parties involved. Oliver hops back and forth from driver to passenger seat and jumps at the window every time you use your turn signal. Lola will paw at your chest and howl a blue streak for the first 15 minutes of any car ride (wouldn't you know, about the length of time it takes to get to PetSmart!). I briefly considered putting them in the trunk for the ride back home, but figuring that a fender bender was a distinct possibility in this weather, decided against it. To my surprise, I think the furbabies could sense their mommy's distress because they were amazingly well-behaved until we reached our neighborhood.

Once we turned into a street they recognized, all bets were off. Lola was howling and Oliver was jumping at the door to get out. By the time we got into the garage, all I wanted was a nice glass of wine and a few minutes of peace and quiet.

So I open the car door to let us all out and Oliver literally rolls out of the car directly into the muddy tire track left by my front wheel. SERIOUSLY?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! All of that stress plus $40 down the drain and now he is covered in mud from snout to tail!

Needless to say, Oliver got a not so gentle bath and is now sporting an interesting haircut on his tail (where the mud just would not come out). And I will spend my snowed in evening sipping a glass or three of wine while researching those doggy groomers that come and groom them in a little truck parked in your driveway. Adios, PetSmart.

Yummy in my tummy

Every January and June, Indianapolis has a festival called Devour Downtown. Two dozen of the priciest best restaurants in town offer special pricing on favorite menu items. A few of the restaurants are familiar to us but most of them are what we would consider 'special occasion' places (if it costs more than $50 a plate, that's a special occasion kinda place!). And since everyone knows there is only ONE place I like to go to celebrate my special occasions, we haven't tried any of the yummy places on the Devour Downtown Winterfest list.

Until last night that is. Last night we checked out St Elmo's Steakhouse with some friends. I had fiery shrimp cocktail (they are not kidding on the fiery part!), macaroni and cheese with gouda and shrimp, house salad (the house vinagrette is a-MAZ-ing), filet mignon with mashed redskin potatoes, green beans and raspberry cheesecake. Let's just say, I was definitely not counting calories yesterday and I was in a serious food coma by the time we made it home.

The food was delicious and more than enough to fill me up, but coming in at $120 for the two of us, I must say I would have rather spent my moolah at the Melting Pot. And on the way to the car, Nate actually admitted he would have rather gone there too!

It's finally happening...

I never thought I'd see the day, but I think I might be getting used to this Northern weather. I went outside today in 40 degree weather without my coat on....and I wasn't even cold.

I actually told someone I was happy it had 'warmed up' for the day.

Gasp. Choke. Cough. Some one come save me before I turn into a Northerner!

Open dishwasher. Insert dish.

After more than five years of indentured servitude wedded bliss, Nate has finally come to understand a few key things.

1. I only 'cook' things that come out of a box or the freezer.
2. I will use any and every excuse to avoid vacuuming the house.
3. Reading my book quietly while he plays video games constitutes 'quality time'. (Don't judge. We're in the same room. He's happy. I'm happy. It works.)
4. Starbucks makes any day better.
5. If he was looking for Martha Stewart, he married the wrong woman.

He's still got a few things to learn (like where dirty dishes go and how to work the washing machine) but I think I'll keep him.

Imagine how much easier his training our early years of marriage would have been if we'd had this handy guide back then?

DICTIONARY FOR MEN - Nine commonly used (and frequently misunderstood) female phrases

(Original author unknown)

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. ‘Five minutes’ only means five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘nothing’ usually end in ‘fine’.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.

5. Loud Sigh: This is not a word but a clear non-verbal statement. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (See # 3 for the meaning of 'nothing'.)

6. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

7. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. ‘That's okay’ means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

8. Thanks: If a woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say “You're welcome”. This should not be confused with the similar but entirely different 'Thanks a lot'. ‘Thanks a lot’ is pure sarcasm. DO NOT say “You're welcome” as that will bring on a ‘Whatever’.

9. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F--- You.

Thank you, may I have another?

If you are a sucker for a cute puppy, check out the new addition over at The Reality of Happily Ever After. She has the cutest pics of her new puppy, Elly Mae.

Kind of makes me want another one....

Memory Lane

Speaking of the Dance of Joy, does anyone else remember that from Perfect Strangers? I just had a major flashback - tie-dyed shirts, jeans skirts and permed hair, all doing the Dance of Joy in my parent's living room.

Doing the Dance of Joy in my chair

It's finally here! Tonight!! I am so excited I can hardly sit still. It's going to be a long 11 hours, 31 minutes and 52 seconds....

WARNING: Woman in the mirror may be crabbier than she appears

Consider yourself warned...

Ode to my Electric Blanket

Dear Electric Blanket,

Where have you been all my miserably cold life? You have won my heart with your feather-soft folds and your toasty warmth on a frigid winter's eve. Your pre-heat setting is unlike anything I have ever known.

You are a cruel mistress, whose siren call lures me all the day long, while I toil in my chilly office, dreaming of the hour when I can lie beneath your heated embrace once again. Were it not for your long and cumbersome cords, we would be together all the day long.

Until tonight...

love,
Sara

(Thanks, Grandpa and Grandma!)