Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Road Warrior

Dear Fellow Commuters,

I know that I'm the new girl around here and I don't have a lot of experience with this whole commuting thing, but I'm pretty sure I have a competent grasp of the basics. It seems, however, that most of you could use a refresher.

1. There is this thing on the left hand side of your steering wheel called a Turn Signal. It is used to indicate an intention to switch lanes. You ought to try it sometime.
2. The interstate is not the appropriate place for doing your hair, applying your makeup or changing your shirt (or your pants, for that matter). Please pay attention to the road.
3. Mr. NosePicker, you are surrounded by windows. I can see you and so can every other car that passes you.
4. The left hand lane is for people with no intention of exiting within the next five miles. If this is not you, kindly move yourself to at least the middle lane.
5. Short of a vehicular accident blocking all three lanes, there is absolutely ZERO reason that we should be at a complete standstill at any point while on the interstate. This is the INTERSTATE, people - it was invented for the express purpose of avoiding the stop and go of traffic lights. Even if we are moving slowly, we should be MOVING at all times.

In return, I promise to keep my middle finger to myself and do my best to refrain from screaming obscenities at you idiots my fellow road warriors.



Cole said...

Thank you for saying everything that has been on my mind!

I saw someone painting their nails while driving this morning! Ridiculous.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I had a major case of road rage today! Another good one is "There's a reason they invented a turning lane!"

heene said...

don't forget those people who drive for ten miles with their blinker on. I once saw a driver (woman) come to a complete stop in the far left lane in ATL and cut across four (maybe five) lanes of traffic to exit. you need to add rubber neckers to your list as well.

Mel said...

Ha! Good post, good post.

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