A real 'gem' of a guy

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My new boss likes to provide me with micromanagement 'helpful' gems like these on a near daily basis:

"I just wanted to make sure that you knew to be careful about the emails you put in your Deleted Items folder. Yesterday I had some issues with my Outlook and I lost all the emails in my Deleted Items. IT said it would take a week to recover them. Just thought you should know so you don't lose any important emails like I did."

Um, exactly what part of DELETED ITEMS did you misunderstand?

If girls had wet dreams....

...this would be mine. 96 cupcakes, 7 cans of frosting and the perfect excuse to indulge myself.

Couch to 5K - The Finish Line!!

Glory, glory hallelujah!!

Hear that? That's the sound of angels singing. I swear I could hear them as I crossed the finish line of my very first 5K today!

The race was part of Indy's Irish Fest downtown. My running buddy Jamie, her friend Bob and I showed up about 8:00am to sign up for the 9:00am race. Everyone knows that the only reason you run a race is for the race t-shirt, right? Guess who got the last shirt? That would be moi. Thank goodness, or I totally would have turned around and just gone home.

The weather was perfect for running - sunny but cool with a slight breeze. I wasn't at all nervous until we actually got there and then I started wondering what on earth I was doing here. Am I actually paying money for the "privilege" of rising at 6:00am and running 3 miles? What was I thinking?

Once the race got underway, I couldn't wipe the dopey smile off my face. At one point I turned to Jamie and said, "We're running a 5K, girl!" We'd been talking about it for so long, it was kind of surreal to finally actually be running it.

Running with Jamie and Bob made a huge difference in my endurance. I tend to run really fast for the first two miles and then flame out in the last mile because I can't catch my breath. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to pace myself any slower. An 8 or 8.5 minute mile for the first two and then a 12 or 13 minute mile for the third. I had never actually run the entire 3.1, always having to walk for at least 1/8 mile at the end to catch my breath.

I am proud to say that Jamie and I both ran the entire 3.1 miles and I actually felt pretty good the whole time! I finished in 31:49:4. As I crossed the finish line, I wanted to throw up and cry at the same time. I was not at all surprised about the puking (I didn't) but I was not expecting tears. I think it was a combination of relief that it was over and pride in having accomplished something I never expected to do.

All in all, it was a successful day! I'm so proud of Jamie and myself for sticking to it and completing the race. Having a friend doing this with me made a huge difference. When I didn't feel like running or had hit a mental wall, I could always count on her to push me just a little harder. Thanks, girl!!!

I wouldn't call running fun yet, but I can see how people get addicted to it. I don't exactly enjoy it while I'm doing it, but I like the feeling of accomplishment I have when I'm done. And now that I know I can do it, I'm eager to push myself harder and improve my time. Which, I guess, means there will be a next time. Who'da thunk it?

Racing toward the finish line

So race day is quickly approaching (September 19th!) and I am not quite there yet. I've been successfully running two miles for a week now but had hit a wall. I knew it had to be entirely mental because if I can run 2 miles, surely I can run 2.25 right? I was getting more than a little frustrated at my lack of improvement and motivation to push through the wall.

Until Thursday,that is, when my running buddy told me she'd finally run the full 3 miles. Holy motivation, Batman! That was all I needed to hear to get my rear in gear. On Saturday, I decided a change of scenery would do me good (I usually run in our neighborhood) so I went down to Forest Park to run on the trail. Let me tell you, there's nothing like mile markers and the promise of some good ole Tennessee football to get you going!

I managed to eke out 2.5 miles and was pleased as punch with myself at the end. I walked about 1/8 of a mile at the 1.75 mark to catch my breath. Today I went back and finally did the entire three mile stretch! I walked 1/8 of a mile twice (again at 1.75 and later at 2.25) but still managed to finish in a respectable 29 minutes. My first mile was 8.5 minutes which is pretty darn good for a non-runner!

Now that I've worked through my mental block, my biggest challenge is my breathing. I end up walking not because I can't run but because I can't breath. I need to spend more time concentrating on regulating my breathing and less time bobbing my head to Sara's Kickass Running Playlist on my i-pod. I wonder what all the mommies on the trail would think if they knew I was singing Jay-Z and Juvenile in my head as I wave and smile at their cute little kids?

Love is....

Love is driving 22 hours round trip for a two day visit.


....saving every trophy and tiara....



....passing down keepsakes....


....visiting multiple grocery stores just to fuel your daughter's addiction...


....checking every Wal-mart you visit in the hopes of finding an out-of-stock item on her wish list...


....placing the deciding vote on the Great Furniture Debate of 2009...


....and then spending hours at Kirkland's and Hobby Lobby....


....and arranging flowers to make her smile!


Love is a visit with Mom & Dad. I love you guys!!

(My dad made these floral arrangements for me - he's like the flower whisperer! If you're really nice, I might pimp him out give you his number!)

The Note on the Fridge

Received this as a forward today and thought it was too funny not to share! Original author is unknown.

Dear Oliver and Lola,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find this behavior aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bathroom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the edge of the bed to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy,walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children .

Received this as a forward today and thought it was too funny not to share!

77 days

Is it bad that I already know exactly how many days left until Thanksgiving weekend?

IT'S FOOTBALL TIME IN TENNESSEE!!...too bad I'm in Indiana

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Ah! Do you hear it? Taste it? Smell it? Feel it? It's football time, baby!!

I am proudly sporting my orange and wishing the Tennessee game was on TV. I can't wait to see what this season holds with new head coach, Lane Kiffin.

In honor of the official kick-off of college football season, here's a little football funny:

Football FINALLY makes sense.......... A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

Know what really grinds my gears?

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People who leave time on the break room microwave. Seriously? Are you so lazy that you can't press Cancel/Stop? Or better yet, set it for the correct time in the first place - the microwave will actually shut itself off for you, no extra button pushing required.

Oh the joys of going back to an office.