Saturday, May 24, 2008

And the Razzie for 'Worst Movie Ever' goes to....

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

N and I went to see the new Indiana Jones movie with friends last night. I will admit, I was not particularly excited to see this movie (I haven't seen any of the old ones) but the vote was 3-1, so I went. I expected the movie to be stupid but I seriously underestimated just how bad it would be. You know before you go to an action hero movie that you will have to suspend reality just a bit for the sake of the movie, right? This one was just ridiculous.

***SPOILER ALERT*** (if you haven't seen the movie yet and are willing to waste a perfectly good $9.50, stop reading now)
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1. Indy survives an atomic bomb by jumping into a refrigerator and being hurtled hundreds of miles in a tiny metal box.

2. After said explosion, Indy is simply showered off and he is ready to roll.

3. A fight scene in which Shia LaBeouf and Cate Blanchett sword fight while driving two vehicles side by side through the uncut jungle.

4. Indy and his pals brave three giant waterfalls (we're talking Niagara-level) in a tiny boat. On the first fall, THEY DON'T EVEN FALL OUT OF THE BOAT. Seriously? I'm supposed to buy that?

5. The whole 'mission' of the movie is to return a crystal alien skull back to its home. For what you ask? The aliens go home (in a big spaceship that comes out of the ground, no less) and Indy and his pals go back home too. The space aliens kill the bad guy Russians. What kind of stupid story line is that? *YAWN*

Bottom Line: George Lucas should retire before he ruins his legacy of excellent movies with useless drivel (see also the last three Star Wars movies).

1 comment:

Monkey said...

Hey, now, I very much enjoyed this movie...now if you are going to see an IJ movie, you must realize that it is SUPPOSED to be unbelievable--they are all that way. Suspend reality and enjoy the movie! What impressed me the most was the subtle scripturally-based moments, which are also sooo IJ. I thought the movie was great--yeah, the alien bit may have been pushed too far, but come on, they had to try something IJ hasn't fought so far.....IJ is much better than SEx in the City or some crap like that, where you are supposed to believe the crap the actresses put out!

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