This way to Crazy Town

{Image found here}

Nearly three months after the drama began, I finally got my permanent crown the other day. And the whole time I'm laying there, all I can think is that I am a failure. I couldn't even brush my teeth and floss correctly. They whittled my tooth down to nothing and now I have a fake one. Loser, much?

Cue the tears.

I don't know why I have had such an extreme reaction to this tooth drama. I am not normally so emotional about silly stuff.

Anyone else have this reaction to dental work? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Crazy, Party of 1.

There's no crying in baseball on Saturdays

 

Dear Lola,

Perhaps you did not realize that today is Saturday or, as I like to call it, The Day Mommy Sleeps In.  Because surely if you had remembered, you would not have felt compelled to start up the Death Howl at 7:30am, causing Mommy to startle suddenly awake and race downstairs in a panic to make sure that someone was not dying down there.

Seeing as how you are both very much alive and well, let's go over the rules for the Death Howl, shall we?  The Death Howl shall only be used if:

1. You are actually dying.

2. Your brother Oliver is dying.

3. Your daddy is dying.

4. Someone is breaking in and we might all soon be, well, dying.

Do you notice a theme here?  While I appreciate your desire to 'help' your Daddy shovel the driveway at 7:30am on The Day That Mommy Sleeps In, you are not actually dying to get out there, so let's keep the Death Howl to ourselves next time, okay?

Sincerely,
One Grumpy Mommy

Hello, Puberty. Long time, no see.

I don't know what the deal is the last few weeks but my skin has gone crazy. It's like how I imagine puberty is for most people, except that it never actually happened to me back then.

My skin never gave me a bit of trouble. Ever. Not in middle school, not in high school, not in college, not in my mid-20's. I get the random blemish once a month or so, but even those are mild compared to most people. I'll take pale and freckled any day, so long as it comes with a smooth porcelain veneer.

So why, all of a sudden, has Puberty decided to pay me a visit - three months shy of my final year in my twenties?

It's like every pore has suddenly started hoarding dirt and oil and then waving it around in the form of a big red flag on my face. WTH?

I've racked my brain for changes in my daily routine. I haven't changed face wash, make-up, laundry soap or anything similar recently. No new vitamins or supplements. No, I'm not pregnant. I am less stressed than I've been in months and my diet has actually improved now that I'm not eating my misery all day at my desk. So what gives?

Could it be the weather? Am I over moisturizing? Under moisturizing? I seriously have no clue where to even start trying to fix this because it's never been an issue before. HELP! What do I do?

OOOOH, NOOOO

To say I had a rough day at work today would be an understatement. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself until this commercial came on for the zillionth time. And for the zillionth time, I laughed like a lunatic at it. If you haven't seen the Geico Pothole Commercial yet, get ready. Note to first time viewers: You might want to swallow whatever you're drinking before you press play. Unless, you know, you like the sensation of snorting diet soda through your nose.

Jigga, what?!

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Well that picture just about sums up my afternoon!

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I had a cavity filled back in mid-December. At the time, I didn't mind so much because, hey, it got me out of another afternoon of the most mind-numbingly boring job on Earth. But more than a week later, I was still having stabbing pains in my tooth every time I chewed on that side - not good. So Tuesday before our vacation, I went back to the dentist to have it checked out. There was much talk of filing it down a little more, bruising, swelling, waiting, pain tolerance....and then the dreaded words 'root' and 'canal' right next to each other in the same sentence. I went home hoping and praying that the dentist had fixed the problem and that a few more days of rest would solve the problem.

Not so much. Two weeks later, vacation is over and I still can't use that side of my mouth. On the bright side, I have some fantastic jaw muscles on the right side of my face now.

So to the endodontist I went this afternoon for a consultation. Yay! Another missed afternoon of work! I figured a thirty minute consultation at 2:00 and then I'm out and home a full two hours earlier than usual. Wahoo!

The tech girl comes in, taps around on my tooth, touches it with cold, touches it with hot, makes me bite down, takes an x-ray. Looks like I definitely need a root canal and she'll have the endodontist come in to look at it. Enter Dr. Endo, who taps around on my tooth, touches it with cold, touches it with hot, makes me bite down, looks at the x-ray. Yup, I concur, you need a root canal.

Major bummer, right? My wallet feels lighter already.

So as I'm laying there listening to exactly how a root canal works, he sticks a cotton swab in my mouth and suddenly my cheek goes all tingly. Which is when he says, 'We'll just numb you a little before we do the injections'.

Whoa, wait a minute. Jigga, what?!

WE'RE DOING THIS NOW?

I'm pretty sure my face looked exactly like that monkey up there. I was totally and completely shocked. I was expecting a consultation and a follow-up appointment, before which I would take copious amounts of relaxants and possibly mix them with alcohol (KIDDING! Sort of.) What I was not expecting was a root canal. Silly me.

Apparently it's standard operating procedure at that office to follow up a consultation with a two hour opening for an immediate procedure. Um, might be nice to tell the patient this on the phone, don't you think?

They, of course, offered to let me come back if I preferred, but that was clearly not what they wanted me to choose. And being that I was already there and all tingly anyway, I bit the bullet and forged ahead. The procedure itself was not bad at all, if you don't mind having your mouth wedged open and the smell of burning teeth in your nostrils for nearly an hour. And lucky me, I get to go back to my regular dentist for a crown in two to three weeks. Hear that sound? That's my wallet crying quietly in the background.

But when all was said and done? A surprise root canal is still better than an afternoon at work.

And that's all I have to say about that...

{image found here}

Dear 2009,

Don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.

Sincerely,
Sara

Let me slip into something a little more comfortable

We are going to have the worst winter here. I can tell already. Barely three weeks into Autumn and it hasn't stopped raining or gotten into the 50's the last three days.

Did you hear that, God? Autumn. You know, that season between the miserable highs of summer and the miserable lows of winter? That time when all you want to do is sit outdoors around a camp fire and a light jacket will suffice to keep out the slight chill? When the leaves turn colors and remain on trees long enough to be oohed and aahed over?

Um, yeah. I think You skipped that part.

The house has been freezing for days and I finally wore down convinced Nate to let me turn on the heat. Granted, he'll only let me put it at 68, but at least I can huddle around the heating vents in an effort to keep my limbs from going numb.

I've also busted out the slipper collection this weekend. This is half of it. No lie - these are just the ones that I keep downstairs. When I say I have a 'thing for shoes', that might be a bit of an understatement.


My plans for this weekend? Putting the electric blanket on the bed and liberating my winter wardrobe from it's hibernation in one of the guest room closets. I absolutely love to switch out my wardrobe in the spring and fall. I get so excited as I take each piece out of the storage boxes. I always find stuff I totally forgot I had and new things I bought at the tail end of the season and haven't even worn yet. It's like Christmas all day long and it doesn't cost a dime!

What are your plans for the weekend?

Jitter Bug

I'm down to my last few hours of freedom before I return to work full-time tomorrow. And I must admit, I'm a total stress ball.

It's kind of like the first day of elementary school. You have no idea what to expect. Will you like your boss? Will you like your coworkers? Will they like you? Will you like the job? Will you be able to find the bathroom when necessary? Will you be dressed appropriately?

There are all the questions about how this will affect my life in general - how will I adjust to the commute? How will I find time to work out and run? Will I be able to get the housework done? How in the world will I make time for everything I need to get done? Will the puppies hate me for abandoning them for hours on end?

And most surprisingly, I'm sad. Sure, I'm thrilled to finally have a job. To be a productive member of society again. But I'm also kind of sad to see my unemployment end. I mean, when else will I get the opportunity to do whatever the heck I want for weeks on end? The funny part is, I was so worried about finding a job and not spending money, that I couldn't fully enjoy the time off. And now that I have a job and money to once again spend as I please, I'll have no time to enjoy it! It's a nasty Catch-22.

I'm also sad to see my time as a telecommuter really truly come to an end. I know it's been five months since I lost my job, but I kind of kept expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out from some bush and tell me I've been punked. The company didn't fold and my job is still right where I left it - won't I pretty please come back? I guess that just speaks to how much I loved my old job, my boss, my employees and the perks of being a telecommuter. I'd go back in a heartbeat, if I could.

I know tomorrow the thrill of the new challenge will rush in and I'll be fine. I'm excited about the challenges and opportunities at the new company. I'm excited about meeting new people and flexing my work muscles again. And I'm excited about dressing up for the office (because we all know, everything comes back to the clothes!). Whenever I start to lose focus, I'll just hold onto these things. That...and the promise of a good glass of wine at the end of a long and hopefully productive day!

That...just...happened

{image via lolcats}

Just five weeks into the new part-time job and I have officially left my mark on the place. Unfortunately it was in the form of a gigantic hole in a roll up warehouse door and a gigantic scratch in the top of a box truck.

Not exactly what I had in mind.

We were getting new vending machines today. The boss put up the roll up door so they could back their truck right up to the building. Unfortunately our own box truck was parked inside the building and was blocking their path. They asked me to move the truck and being the ever helpful person I am, I grabbed the keys and hopped in. I've driven several box trucks, so only gave a passing thought to not doing it myself. Yeah, regretting that now. Turns out, the door wasn't all the way up. Just up far enough to make it look like it was all the way up. I realized this about two seconds after the awful, terrible, horrible, no good screeching noise and the Styrofoam storm that rained down on the windshield.

Box truck = 1. New girl = 0.

It's like rain on your wedding day

Dear Friends who were at the pool with me yesterday,

If ever again you hear me say that I chose not to apply sunscreen because we are 'only going to be here for an hour', please slap me silly and then refuse to speak to me until I go home and lather up.

I am now paying for my shameful inattention to proper sun protection with a ridiculously painful sunburn that has turned my chest, stomach and legs a most hideous shade of lobster. To add insult to the (literal) injury, the combination of late day setting sun and my attempts to read a few pages of my book have resulted in a funky trapezoidal design. My shins are burned, but not my thighs. My right shoulder is burned but not my left. The line across my tummy is at a 60 degree angle. Classy.

My plans to wear a strapless dress to this weekend's graduation festivities will have to be scrapped. I do not even know where to begin to fix the hot mess that is currently my upper half.

The ironic part? I skipped my carefully planned MysticTan appointment to go to the pool with you instead.

Painfully yours,
Sara

Just when you need it most

Sorry for my silence this week, I've just been feeling a little less than my normal sunny self. Lazy. Unmotivated. Blah.

Which is why I signed up for this today. Crazy? Yes. Necessary? Very.

I need something to get my rear in gear. I know once I get motivated and start seeing results, I will be able to continue on my own. Someone just has to give me a good swift kick in the pants.

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I also got some delightful awards this week - always guaranteed to make you feel all warm and gooey inside.
Mmmmm......warm and gooey....wonder if there's any cookie dough left in the fridge....

(See why boot camp is so very necessary?)

Sorry, where was I? Oh, yes - awards.


First, from the lovely Leah and the sassy KT, the Love Ya award. Leah is one of my oldest friends and we found each other again last year through the lovely world of Facebook. She is expecting her first baby in just a few weeks and has the cutest baby bump ever! KT is a girl after my own heart - she reads two or three books a week and is always game to share the book-love. If you don't already know these ladies, you are missing out!

These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbon of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.


I also received the Queen of All Things Awe-Sum award from the vivacious Valentine. V blogs with her sister about all kinds of randomness, including their love of all things vampire, the necessity of being grammatically correct and the origin of the phrase 'that took balls'. I mean, who doesn't want to know where that phrase came from?

My Queen Duties are as follows:
1. List 7 things that make me awe-summm.
2. Pass the award onto 7 bloggers that I think are awe-summm.

Seven things that make me awe-summm (this part is harder than you think!):

• I've got mad organizational skills. All of my jewelry is kept in little clear plastic bags, sorted by color, and stored in craft cases according to type. (OCD, much?)
• I'm a pretty cool big sister (in my own *ahem* humble opinion).
• The tips of my fingernails grow out white, like I always have a perfect french manicure. I don't have any idea why or how this happens, it just does.
• I have a very unique birthmark on my neck. I hated it when I was a kid. Nate has a smaller one in the exact same place on his neck. Kind of seems meant to be, huh?
• I can wiggle my ears.
• I tend to speak my mind. I will always give you my honest opinion if you ask for it. (But I'm not much for giving unsolicited advice - that's just rude.)
• I spell check every post. Nine times out of ten there isn't a single error. I'm oddly proud of this fact. (Sad but true, folks. Sad but true.)

Since I don't have the time nor the inclination to list 15 blogs between the two awards, I'm just going to list a handful of new ones I've discovered recently.

Little April Rose - B is very pregnant with a beautiful baby girl, April Rose. April has some complications and may not live outside the womb. B is already an amazing mama and April is lucky to have her.

I'm Living Proof - Helene has not one but two sets of twins. Her adventures in multiple baby juggling are hilarious.

OMG! We're Pregnant - I can't remember how I happened upon this unexpectedly expectant duo, but these two are too freaking funny. And they're European, so they say cute stuff like mates, wags and arse. Love it!

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Last but not least, I have not forgotten about the giveaway. I just haven't had a moment to enter you all into Random.org and answer your burning questions. This weekend, I promise!

Homesick

It's days like today that make me miss home the most.

The tax man cometh

Every year on January 1st I promise myself that I will get our taxes done the minute we have both our W-2's. And every year it's somehow April 1st before I get around to even thinking about it.

Guess what is sitting on the desk in front of me, staring ever so rudely while I try to read blogs, check email, procrastinate as long as humanly possible and catch up on Facebook? Stupid W-2's.

This is the first year since we've been married that I am going to attempt to do them on my own. Every other year we've had some reason or another to pay someone else to just do it for us. I tried that this year, but the guy at H&R Block kind of skeeved me out and honestly, I'm a little bit embarrassed to even call last year's guy so late in the tax season. Surely this can't be too hard, right?

At this point, I think I'd prefer this to spending the next two hours trying to figure out if I should subtract Line 452.b.ii from Line 987.g.vii, or was that Line 987.d.iii?

{image via active rain}