Not Me Monday

Because reading about other people's 'not me' moments makes me feel just a little bit better about my own not so bright moments that totally didn't happen this week...

This week, I most certainly did not miss the bedroom door and run into the wall instead because I was walking up the stairs in the dark...at night...while texting on my phone. Not me!

I also did not hit my head on the new shelves in the powder bathroom because I forgot I moved the trashcan to the other wall. I mean, who walks around in the dark all the time like that? Not me!

I did not spend last Wednesday freezing my butt off until Nate came home from work and realized he forgot to turn up the heat before he left for work that morning. Who would just shiver all day long in a 62 degree arctic tundra and never once think to check the thermostat? Not me!

And finally, I would never, ever, in a million years look at a dinner menu and tell Nate I had no idea what 'duh-vIled' [pronounced like 'vile'] tilapia is. Because obviously that word is 'deviled', as in deviled eggs. Duh. Who would look at that word at least six times, and give it serious consideration, and still get it wrong? Nope, not me!

Not Me Monday

I have not, in the last 18 days, polished off two entire cases of Cheerwine. I most certainly have not justified this two-a-day gluttony by reasoning that since one is diet (and therefore calorie free), it basically doesn't count. That would be self-delusional. And I am definitely not self-delusional. Nope, not me!

I did not substitute brown sugar for white sugar when making short-cut lasagna, because I somehow forgot to buy white sugar at the grocery store. I mean who forgets a basic staple like sugar? Not me!

I did not openly gloat when Oliver had an accident in the house, because that wouldn't make my dog (Lola) the 'good' dog. I mean, who is secretly not too unhappy about an accident in the house? Not me!

I did not scream like a school girl and otherwise make a general idiot out of myself when I discovered a huge slimy something-or-other under the wash-out drain in front of the house. That would be silly and embarrassing to do in front of the neighbors. Who was that raving lunatic on my driveway? Not me!

"Not Me!" Monday

Okay, so technically this is now Tuesday, but these things happened on a Monday, so isn't that close enough? I have been enjoying the blog My Charming Kids for awhile now and finally decided to get in on the "Not Me!" Monday action.

This week I did not turn the wrong way out of the Wal-mart parking lot and make it three miles before I realized I was going the wrong direction. Again.

I did not try to buy wine for Thanksgiving and discover that I did not have my driver's license in my wallet.

Last night when Nate asked for grilled cheese for dinner (WTH?), I most certainly did not sneak off to call my sister Katie to make sure I knew how to make grilled cheese correctly.

And I definitely am not posting this while eating yet another spoonful of cookie dough from the refrigerator.